


Fallout

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Organa's Organics [28]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: As you do, M/M, lots of adults talking stuff out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 02:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6637270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dealing with the fallout of the Ben Situation</p><p>Edit 4/24: I added a piece at the end to make Poe's feelings clear to the audience. It was originally going to be in a separate piece but it works better here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating as much recently! I still love these guys and my farm, but school will be keeping me busy for the next seven weeks or so as it's basically my responsibility to make sure the seniors graduate.

“Daddies!” Amelia launched herself off of Ben’s lap, heading straight for Poe and Finn, and Finn stepped around Poe’s protective arm to kneel and hug his little girl, because if he focused on Amelia, he could let his mind settle a bit before trying to focus on whatever the hell _he_ was here for. It annoyed Finn that his first instinct had been flight over fight, and he fought his rapid heartbeat. He was not in danger, and he was strong.

“Hey sweet pea,” he murmured, gathering Amelia into a close hug which Caleb soon joined. “You miss us?”

“Sooooo much, Daddy. But we had fun here too,” Amelia said, because of course his girl would never want to upset anyone. She was a classic conflict avoider.

Which was why he stood, lifting Caleb and settling the boy on his hip, and smiled at the room. He pushed through, saying, “Ben,” with a small nod. Everyone was standing now, and Leia’s hands were clasped tightly together. He didn’t have to look at his husband to know that Poe was still tense beside him. “We should probably get the kiddos to bed.” He made a motion vaguely in the direction of their property.

“I hope that we can talk tomorrow?” Leia’s voice was hesitant as she looked at Poe.

Poe nodded stiffly. “Are their bags ready?” His words were a low monotone.

Anne touched Poe’s arm gently. “Not quite, but why don’t Amelia and I come help you get everything together.” She tried to steer Poe out of the living room, but Poe wouldn’t budge until Finn nodded at him to tell him he would be okay with Ben.

Finn wasn’t quite okay, but his heartbeat had calmed, especially when Caleb had laid into his side, resting his head on Finn’s chest. _Little things that felt like home,_ he thought. He pressed a kiss into Caleb’s hair, smoothing it back some, leaving his hand resting there to hold Caleb close, even rocking himself a bit. All of this, he told himself, was to sooth Caleb, but it worked to soothe himself as well as he endured Ben’s continued presence.

“Finn, I need-”

Finn cut Ben off with a shake of his head. “You don’t get to tell me what you need.” He kept the anger out of voice for the Caleb’s sake. “We’ll have our talk with Leia tomorrow. But you don’t get to talk about _needs_ with me.”

Cassie took Ben by the elbow. “Leia, I think we should go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Leia nodded, hands still clenched, eyes wet but refusing to drop any tears. She walked with them to the front door.

When she returned to Finn, she ran a hand down Caleb’s back before looking into Finn’s eyes with a plea for him to understand. “He’s my son,” she said simply.

\---------------------------------------

The second both Finn and Poe were able to finally go to bed that night, Poe wrapped himself immediately around Finn, not in a sexual manner, but in a protective way. _Sometimes el oso earned his name off of the soccer field, too,_ Finn thought. “I’m fine. It was a shock, to see him there, when the last time I saw him was that law office, and he was so hateful. But I’m fine, Poe.”

Poe nuzzled into his neck. “I probably shouldn’t have worried, but dammit, what right does she have to pull that on us? Expose our children to the man who attacked you?” He let out a shuddery breath, and Finn knew he was thinking about a night spent in a hospital, Finn’s blood on his clothing.

Finn reached behind him, turned off the light, and nestled back into Poe’s arms. “I’m okay,” he murmured again.

\-----------------------------------------

The mood around Leia’s kitchen table was tense, even when Anne placed piping hot mugs of tea in front of everyone. Finn had come back in for an extended lunch, time he really couldn’t afford after being gone for the conference, so he was feeling a little impatient along with the heady mix of other emotions running through him. At least Ben wasn’t joining them...yet, anyway. Poe was still in protective mode, an arm slung around Finn’s back, fingers snug at his waist.

“I want to explain,” Leia began, folding her hands around the tea mug. “But first, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caught you off guard like that. Ben showing up was a surprise, apparently he’d been out to Cassie’s to look at something in the brewery, and I wasn’t watching the time-”

“So you would have just not told us that Ben had met our children. Not told us that you let him play with them.” Poe’s voice dripped acid, and Finn had never seen Poe truly mad at Leia, hadn’t been sure that could really happen.

Finn saw the guilt flash over Leia’s face before she straightened a little. “I would never put your children in an unsafe environment. God, Poe, I love them, what do you take me for?”

Poe looked unmoved. “I’m not sure anymore.”

Anne cleared her throat. “Listen, I’m obviously the person here with the least experience with Ben, just my knowledge of his attack on Finn. I wanted to slap him so much, honey,” she confessed, her eyes on Finn, “because he hurt my baby. But he’s made Leia so happy over the past weeks.”

Finn raised his eyebrows. “Weeks?”

Leia kept her gaze steady, defiant even. “I’ve been meeting him off the farm. Long enough to see that he’s not the person he was.  I truly believe he’s not the person who attacked you, Finn.”

Poe scoffed, his eyes challenging Leia’s.. “That doesn’t belie the fact that Finn and I get to make the decisions about who our children are in contact with.”

“He’s not going to hurt your children. In my opinion, they’re good for him.”

“Does he know about Meghan?” Finn asked quietly.

Leia faltered. “I didn’t- He hasn’t met her yet. I’ve talked about her, but I didn’t bring it up, because…” She trailed off.

“Because you’re not entirely sure you trust him with that information,” Poe filled in bitterly.

Leia rubbed her fingers into her temple. “He’s my son. He’s made bad choices, awful choices in the past, but he’s the one that willingly came back to me. He wanted to make it work. How could I do anything but give him a chance?  Imagine yourself in my shoes. When Meghan ran away, you forgave her, helped her, you _understood._ Is it so difficult to believe that I’d offer the same to my son?”

Poe tapped his fingers on the table, a steady little rhythm that Finn knew meant he was thinking. Finn ran a hand over Poe’s knee, under the table, then looked back at Leia. “I think that we have to figure it out somehow, because it certainly can’t be us or Ben.” Poe made a small noise, and Finn turned to his husband. “It _can’t,_ Poe.  We can’t just cut the kids off from Leia. And we can’t insist that Leia stop seeing her son.” He huffed out a breath. “So we have to work it out.” He was silent for a moment. “But I don’t know if I can face him,” he admitted, hating himself for having to admit it. He looked down, ashamed at himself.

He felt Poe lean over, tip his chin up. “Baby, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Poe brushed a kiss along his jawline, and Finn closed his eyes.

Leia reached out across the table, offering her hand to Finn. He hesitated, but accepted it. “I know this is difficult. I just want to make it work in whatever way possible. I missed him so much.” Leia’s voice cracked on her last word, and tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. Anne put a hand on her shoulder.

Poe watched her, seeming a little less hostile now. “I’ll meet with him. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.”

It made Finn feel even more ashamed, because Poe had a longer history of hurt from Ben, but he was willing to put that aside because Finn couldn’t bring himself to. “I’ll do it too. I think maybe I can do it if you’re there, Poe.” He’d force himself to do it, because he’d hate himself otherwise. Hate himself for not being able to strong enough.

\--------------------------------

Finn felt like he was going to throw up, even excused himself to go to the bathroom. They’d agreed to meet at Cassie’s tiny house, just he and Poe, Cassie and Ben. Ben hadn’t even shown up yet and Finn was running away. He took a shaky breath and splashed some cold water on his face, then walked to Cassie’s tiny kitchen and got himself a glass of water. He heard footsteps behind him and turned, expecting Poe, but it was Cassie, a concerned look on her face.

She looked pointedly at the small tremble in Finn’s hand. “You don’t have to do this, Finn.”

Finn willed his hand to stop shaking. “Yes I do. Five years ago I wasn’t afraid of him. Why should I be now?”

“You have a lot more to protect, now.” She leaned against the kitchen counter. “I want you to know that I consider you a friend, especially after all you and Poe have done for me, to help me get this place up and running, the legal questions you’ve answered and bringing the kids to help and seriously, Finn, I’m so sorry that I started this.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m not sure if anyone else could see how sad Leia was, how broken Ben was, and how satisfied they were by being back together. But I’m sorry I’ve made you feel unsafe.”

Finn was about to reply when a short knock sounded on the front door, and both he and Cassie turned. She smiled up at him. “Shall we?”

In the living room, Finn immediately joined Poe, who clasped his hand tightly, an inquiring look in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay,” Finn whispered, as Cassie opened the door to Ben. Their contrast in height was so ridiculous that Finn almost laughed, but the urge to throw up had returned, drowning out the mirth. Poe squeezed his hand.

They sat, awkwardly. There was hardly any other way the interaction could be, in Finn’s mind. Finn forced himself to look up at Ben, but couldn’t quite bring himself to look at his face, found himself staring at the distance just over his shoulder.

Ben cleared his throat, knees pointed out and and up because of the small armchair he occupied. “Thank you for doing this. You mean a lot to my mom, both of you, she really loves you. She’s been worrying about it. About what you guys would think.”

The words took Finn by surprise. When Ben had pushed him before, it was because Finn had implied that Leia loved Poe like a son.

“We don’t want our kids to lose their Nanalay,” Poe replied.

“I don’t want that either,” Ben replied quietly, so fundamentally different than the arrogant man Finn remembered. “They’re amazing. Amelia and Caleb, they’re adorable and so obviously love their dads.”

Poe glanced at Finn with a smile on his face. Compliments to their children, even considering who they came from, would always make him happy. “We lucked out.” He brought Finn’s hand up for a kiss, then glanced back at Ben to see his reaction. Finn knew he was expecting to see disgust. Instead, they caught Ben glancing over at Cassie with a sort of longing. _Interesting._

Ben turned his gaze back to Finn and Poe. “I’m really happy for you guys, and I know that’s not really worth a damn at this point. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness for what I’ve done. I just-” He sighed. “I just want to spend time with my mom before, heaven forbid, she’s left us. She’s 70 now.”

Poe sat up a little straighter. “Is she sick?  Did she tell you something?”

“No, but-”

Poe relaxed again. “She’s got a lot of years left. Nothing in this world is taking out the General before she wants to go.”

Ben snorted. “You always were an optimist.”

“Had to do something about you being such a negative Nancy.”

“I kept you grounded. If you had had your way, we both would have been arrested for joyriding in Old Mac’s pickup when we were 11.”

Poe actually laughed at the memory. “Oh, that would have been amazing.”

It relaxed Finn, to see them this way, to see in their interactions the boys they had been before Snoke had ruined it. Cassie was grinning, too.

Ben sobered, eyes on Finn. Finn found he could meet them, now. “I’m sorry for pushing you, for causing your injury. I’m sorry for not accepting what you and Poe had. I’m sorry I couldn’t see God’s love for what it was, shining out in the two of you. And now, you’re spreading that love, touching others’ lives, bringing children into it, children who needed people exactly like you. It makes me sick to think about how I thought that was so wrong.” Ben looked down, ran his hands through his hair.

It was the perfect thing to say, really, Finn thought. He felt himself softening toward Ben the same way he’d softened toward his father in the end. At least Ben hadn’t waited for a death-bed realization. But, he had a job to do. “Our daughter Meghan is transgender. She’s had enough abuse to last her a lifetime, and I know she’s not done facing it, given the current political situation. I’ll have your promise to treat her like a human being deserving of respect, or nothing you say will make a damn bit of difference to me.”

Ben looked surprised at Finn’s stern words. “I, uh, I’ve never met anyone who…” he trailed off.

“She’s not a circus freak. Either give me reassurance as her father that you’ll never cause a problem in her safest space, or we won’t make this work.” Finn’s heartbeat was racing, and Poe squeezed his hand in support, nodded at Ben to show their united front. Cassie looked at Ben anxiously.

“I wasn’t going to imply she’s a freak. I just… I want to be accepting but I might say something stupid. Because I don’t know what to say. But I’m done with making people feel unsafe. I’m ashamed that that’s my legacy.”

Finn relaxed slightly.  This was an attitude they’d met before, with some of the farm hands, or teachers at Meghan’s school. People being used to the gender binary and gender norms saying something unintentionally offensive. “We can educate you. We _will_ educate you.”

They were all silent for a moment. Finally, Cassie piped up, ever the mediator. “So, you guys think you can try to make this work?”

Finn looked Ben in the eyes. “For Leia.”

“For Leia,” Poe and Ben murmured, as if in benediction.

\-------------------------------

It was dark when Poe slipped out of the house on the excuse that he’d forgotten to finish something on the farm. Finn had just waved him off, continuing to update paperwork for the firm. It wasn’t a lie, anyway: he had business to finish over at the main house, for sure.

At the front door, he hesitated, then knocked, when he normally would have just opened the door and called out. He saw Leia’s figure come toward the glass in the entryway. When she opened the door, she looked cautious, then surprised to see Poe. “Uh,” Leia stammered. “Come in?”

Poe shook his head. “This won’t take long. I’m sure you know by now that Finn gave your son an ultimatum today.”

Leia nodded, eyes apprehensive. “Yes, Ben told me. I fully under-”

“I’ve got one for you as well.” He paused, trying to calm his anger and say the correct words.

Leia walked out, closing the door behind her, and sat on the edge of one of the adirondack chairs on the porch that she and Anne liked to use in the summer. “Go ahead, just please don’t tell me the ultimatum is that you’re going to force me to choose between you and Ben, between my two sons.”

Poe knew Leia thought of her as a son, but hearing her say it aloud… No, he had to continue. “No more surprises, especially for Finn’s sake. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen. I never wanted it to happen this way.” Leia sounded miserable.  
  
Poe paced the porch. “Well, now it has happened that way, and whatever the intention was, this is the reality we have to deal with. Finn wants us to believe that seeing Ben didn’t shock the hell out of him, but I know you could see it in his eyes too. So you’ll warn me, or Finn, when Ben is expected on the property - and that extends to the brewery property as well. You won’t expose our children to Ben without us being there.” Poe stopped in front of Leia once more. “ And you won’t try to force things along. If I’m truly meant to forgive Ben for how he treated me as a teenager and how he treated Finn, then let it happen organically. Do you agree?”

She leaned over, and put her head in her hands, and she looked so old and tired in that moment that Poe felt a pang by his heart. After a moment, she looked up at Poe, eyes determined. “Okay.”

Poe placed his hands on the porch railing, looking out over the fields. “I’m going to need a while to forgive you. I’m going to need to talk to my therapist about this. I’m… I’m probably going to run things through Snap for a bit.” Poe felt vulnerable now, stating his needs so clearly. It was easier to lay things out when he was doing it for family, or for Finn. This still felt unnatural.

When he found the courage to look back at Leia, she was looking at him with love tinged with sadness. “Okay,” she repeated.

**Author's Note:**

> After being able to watch the movie again (and again) now that it’s out, I really think that Finn is a character who has to constantly struggle with his decision to take action rather than protect himself. I feel like, even though he stood up to Ben in the past, it’s still something he has to deal with on a time-by-time basis, that his initial instinct is flight, when he really wants it to be fight. So I hope I didn’t make Finn sound too cowardly in this chapter, because I don’t think he’s cowardly at all, I think he just constantly has to be fighting this need to seek safety rather run headlong into danger. But it tends to fall away when he has someone to protect besides himself.
> 
> Now I’m headcanoning young Ben and Poe and their adventures on the farm in the summer, Ben being the cool head to Poe’s delightful youthful impetuousness. What kind of hijinks do you think they got into?
> 
> Edit: I hope the addition makes things clearer.
> 
> Leave a comment below or hit me up on tumblr @animalasaysrauer!


End file.
